Review: X-Men: The Last Stand

Dear Brett Ratner,

I owe you an apology. In the many months preceding the release of X-Men: The Last Stand I’ve said some very negative things about your film. At that point, you must understand, I hadn’t seen it, but rather made an assumption based on your past work. I’m writing you this letter in the hope that you’ll forgive me, and to tell you that I was wrong: You’ve done a damn fine job.

As I write this, I’ve not yet had the chance to re-watch that Singer fellow’s work. I’ve seen his films, but time can do funny things to your recollection of quality. At some point, perhaps when the inevitable boxed set is released, I’ll recap and decide which film is truly the best. At this point in time, however, I’m going to have to say that you’ve done the best job; X-Men: The Last Stand is the best film in the trilogy.

I realise, of course, that it’s not entirely your work. You’ve got an excellent script, which moves at an impressive pace and seems to waste no time on anything that isn’t essential to the story. Of particular note is the lack of any heavy-handed recap on the events of the previous film, or insulting explanation of the powers of each character. And rightly so - by this point, surely everyone knows why Magneto can throw Wolverine around - right?

Then there are the actors. And what a wonderful cast you had, Brett! May I call you Brett? Perhaps it’s best if I stick to Mr Ratner? First and foremost you’ve got Ian McKellen - a man I suspect is a mutant himself, gifted with a special ability that allows him to turn any piece of written text into a Shakespearean monologue. The man is incredible! It’s almost fair to say that McKellen is the lynch pin of your film, but that would be doing a disservice to the work of the three other impressive stars: Famke Janssen, Hugh Jackman, and Patrick Stewart.

Stewart is and always will be Professor X. Forget that Picard bloke, his shiny headed magnificence was born to play Xavier. It is his destiny. There’s really little else to say.

Bean is The Hitcher

I can’t let this one go without commenting on it.

Over the last few days, various sites have reported that Sean Bean will be playing the Rutger Hauer part in the remake of The Hitcher. This has met with almost unanimous praise - I don’t think I’ve come across anybody who isn’t pleased with the decision.

So allow me to weigh in on this one, providing the internet with a much needed voice of reason: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOOOOOO!

Would everyone who thinks Sean Bean will ruin the Hitcher remake - which is a fundamentally bad idea anyway, find something crappy to remake; leave my classics alone, please - form an orderly queue here. Thank you.

Normal Service…

…will be resumed shortly.

Apologies for the lack of updates over the last couple of weeks; things have been busy.

I’ve got a raft of updates coming soon; I’ll be introducing a review feed so you don’t have to see rubbish like this appearing in your RSS reader of choice. I’m also planning to make it easier to find the RSS link (it’s over there…on the right…down a bit…got it!), and to provide an explanation of RSS for those that perhaps haven’t yet been introduced to its wonders.

In terms of reviews, I’ve got Chocolate and Incident On And Of A Mountain Road from the Masters of Horror series, X-Men 3, and I’ve even suffered the horrors of Andre The Butcher, so you don’t have to. I’ve got two Doctor Who reviews coming, and hopefully a third after tonight. And to top it all off I’m going to a preview showing of Hard Candy on Monday, so that’ll be up asap too.

So, much to come - just bear with me while I sort all this tedious work stuff out and things will be back on track before you know it.