Entertainment

Review: Donkey Punch

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It is, quite simply, the most distasteful, depraved and nihilistic film I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. I freely confess that there were times I felt physically ill simply watching it. Certainly, I would have walked out long before the end had I not had to write about it.

Donkey Punch is the vilest film Ive ever seen, says AMANDA PLATELL | Mail Online.

If that’s not enough to harden the resolve of any horror fan to see a film, I don’t know what will. The Mail’s spectacularly point-missing review is an entertaining read for all the wrong reasons, so I thought I’d chime in with my thoughts.

The aforementioned Amanda Platell claims the film falls firmly into the “torture porn” category, and manages to cram in a mention of real life knife crime to prove her point. Apparently Donkey Punch:

has no redeeming features whatsoever. There is not a single shred of humanity, imagination or creativity detectable anywhere among its 99 long minutes.

And I’ll admit, it’s not the most original film in the world. It is, essentially, Dead Calm with a higher body count, and without Nicole Kidman or Billy Zane. But it’s a well shot, well acted Brit thriller and actually attempts to serve as something of a morality tale for today’s youth.

The story revolves around three girls from Leeds (one of which is played by the daughter of Beowulf himself, Ray Winstone) who, while on holiday in Majorca, hook up with the crew of a luxury yacht; a group of (mostly) posh British lads with sex and drugs on their minds.

The first third of the film plays out like a music video (which is perhaps unsurprising given director Olly Blackburn’s previous career), as the girls dance around, drink, and take drugs to the tune of various dance tracks.

When the yacht heads out to see, the crew decide to go swimming. Oddly, the girls all seem to have their swimwear, despite only nipping out for a night of clubbing.

After their dip, a brief discussion of various sex acts (one of which being the titular Donkey Punch) ensues, and things inevitably turn fruity as two of the girls head off down to the yacht’s master bedroom with three of the boys. During said fruitiness, one of the boys administers said violent sexual act with undesirably fatal effect.

And then things start to get interesting.

The final two thirds focus on, psychologically, what happens to a group of people when faced with something horrible. It’s not really gore-packed enough to be considered full-on horror - even the film’s most gruesome kill is far tamer than, say, the final kill in Switchblade Romance - but does manage to build up an impressive amount of tension as things progress. This may in part be thanks to the score by genre favourite François Eudes (former work includes À l’intérieur and Switchblade Romance itself).

Now, to return to our friend Ms Platell: Donkey Punch features a cast of characters who take drugs, drink, and indulge in group sex, and they all end up in pretty horrific circumstances as a result. In my book, that’s about as moral as you can get. It’s a return to the old “ah, the teenagers are screwing around, Jason will almost certainly come and behead them” school of horror morality that served the genre so well in the past.

In short, screw around, take drugs, and the nasty man will chop you into little bits. Frankly, if today’s youngsters took this to heart, the world would be a better place. It’s the distinct absence of fear that’s resulted in the culture we have now - there is no boogeyman any more. And if there was, he’d likely to be too scared to make an appearance for being knifed or shot himself.

This film doesn’t glorify anything that takes place within its 99 minutes. It doesn’t even revel in its gore, and doesn’t result in the kind of “am I really watching this?” discomfort that something like Hostel 2 does. Don’t get me wrong, I rate Hostel 2 quite highly, but for its own reasons. I can’t remember if I’ve discussed that on these pages, but either way that’s a debate for the future.

So then, Donkey Punch. Or Donkey Punch (say it like it’s a kind of drink served out of large wide glass bowl - that’s how the ticket guy at the cinema said it - anyone for Donkey Punch? Yummy!). It’s a pretty good, Brit made thriller, with some great cinematography and strong performances. It’s got sex in it, and people get killed in a variety of ways.

I’ve seen a lot worse.

© 2008 Is there food?.