Movie Review: Wanted

It’s been a while since I wrote one of these reviews - particularly one that I decided to “feature”. It’s also been a while since I watched something at the cinema and immediately decided I needed to see it again. In that sense, it seems fitting that Wanted marks my return.

Have you seen that Michael Bay advert? It’s the one where Bay proclaims that everything should be “Awesome“. That’s kind of how Wanted feels - everything needs to be Awesome. Yes, with a capital A.

There are huge parallels with the first Matrix movie here - just the first one, before they fell in love with their own mythology and the trilogy essentially disappeared up its own arse - in that it takes a very normal, insignificant guy, who works in a Dilbert-esque cubicle, and turns him into a superhero.

The difference here is, we care about that guy. OK, Neo was cool, but we didn’t spend enough time with him to really care. Wanted’s resident nobody Wesley Gibson basically has no life. His job sucks, his girlfriend and best mate both think he’s a joke, he’s broke, he lives in a shitty little apartment, and wonders why he bothers to get out of bed in the morning. Did Neo feel like this? No idea, we weren’t given time to find out.

And the fact that we get to see so much of Wesley’s life before his transformation, means that when he takes his life back - or perhaps more accurately gets a life - we’re cheering him along. There’s a moment with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard that I’m sure will put a large smile on the face of many a frustrated computer user. I’ve owned one of those things…they could do some damage.

And thanks to director Timur Bekmambetov - best known for Night Watch and Day Watch - when Wesley does turn into a superhero it feels, like I mentioned before, Awesome. Wesley is recruited into The Fraternity - a 1000 year old club of elite assassins, led by God himself Morgan Freeman. After which much plot twistyness ensues.

We don’t have to wait for the Awesomeness though; it begins early on with an introductory sequence featuring Doomsday’s stern-faced David O’Hara - is it just me, or does it seem like a real effort for that guy to talk? - which sets the tone for the rest of the film really.

Grand Queue Auto

This is my local Asda at midnight. Over 300 people queuing, according to staff. For 260 copies of GTA4.

I went hurtling off to Tesco only to find there was - relatively - nobody there. I grabbed two copies for the 360, made my way to the self service tills, scanned them, opened my wallet…

And realised that my wife still had my Switch card.

Swearing like a trooper, I hurtle back to my house, grab said card, leap back into the car, call Tesco on the way, establish they have three copies left, discover that no, they won’t save them, and yes, they’ve put them on the shelf now, but it’s ok, because there’s nobody here. I want to scream “THEY’RE COMING! DON’T YOU SEE?!?” but I don’t. I just drive. Quite fast.

I arrive at Tesco, sprint into the store, and manage to retrieve the very last copy from their shelves.

Hopefully Game will deliver mine tomorrow. At least I know Dad’s got his copy.

Dario Argento Season

I’m currently enjoying my own personal Dario Argento season.

So far I’ve watched Suspiria, Inferno, and Mother of Tears. I’ll post my thoughts on these individually when I get a minute.

Tonight’s viewing is Tenebrae, followed tomorrow by The Card Player, then Opera on Wednesday. Finally, on Thursday, I’ll finish with Two Evil Eyes (which comes with a side order of Romero).

I’ll be sure to devote a few paragraphs to each one, as befits the new Is There Food.

Upcoming Film Schedule

I post these every now and then, and after a subtle prompt from my Dad I thought I’d post another.

Here’s what the planned viewing looks like for the rest of the year:

April

4th - Funny Games (Remake, might be good)

4th - Awake (Not a remake, might be crap)

11th - [REC] (Apparently excellent foreign peer to Cloverfield/Diary of the Dead)

18th - The Ruins (Good trailer, apparently good book)

May

2nd - Iron Man (One of my most wanted…don’t be crap….don’t be crap…)

9th - Doomsday (Not getting good reviews, but Neil Marshall hasn’t let me down yet)

16th - Speed Racer (Could be awful, but the trailer intrigues me)

22nd - Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (It’s Indy FFS)

June

13th - The Happening (Shyamalan back on form?)

13th - The Incredible Hulk (HULK SMASH!)

27th - Wanted (Angelina looking yummy, and Mr Nightwatch directing…can’t wait…another most…er…Wanted)

July

2nd - Hancock (Good trailer, neat idea, and the wife will probably enjoy it…it’s Will Smith…)

4th - Kung Fu Panda (I really hope this isn’t a one joke film…)

18th - Wall-E (My soon-to-be three year old son’s first cinema excursion)

25th - The Dark Knight (Despite my son’s obsession with Batman, he’ll not be seeing this for a bit…but another most wanted)

August

8th - Mummy 3 (If I’m washing my hair or tidying my sock draw, I’ll happily skip this, but it might be good fun)

22nd - Hellboy 2 (Oh yes… potentially the best film of the summer)

29th - The Wackness (All The Boys Love Mandy Lane’s director teams up with Ben Kingsley…could be good)

September

19th - Tropic Thunder (Hilarious trailer…RDJ as a black guy…hopefully it’ll be as entertaining as its premise)

26th - Death Race (Really don’t know about this yet, but we’ll see)

October

3rd - RocknRolla (Can Guy Ritchtea make another decent film? We shall see…)

17th - Igor (Great concept, great cast)

31st - Quantum of Solace (Bond is back baby!)

November

1st - Saw V (Must. Watch. Saw. Four.)

21st Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (After the previous outing was surprisingly excellent, this is a must see)

Rambo

I was going to review Rambo, but having read Harry’s review over on Ain’t It Cool, I think I’ll just reprint a couple of quotes and link across to it. I can’t express my feelings for this any better than he already has.

"When Rambo gets started - he makes the nightmare monsters of horror films seem like the cuddly things you hang on a mobile above your baby’s crib. He’s not just death… he’s really bad death. He’s the closed casket version of death."

"Stallone is Lee Marvin, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood’s ID MONSTER."

"Jesus will weep - and you will cheer!"

I think they should use that last one on the poster!

Now, if that sounds like your idea of a good time, go and see Rambo. It’s the single most violent movie I have ever seen. There are gibs and gore a-plenty. It out splatters most splatter movies. As Harry says in his review, Stallone was obviously smoking the same stuff that Peckinpah used when he filmed the ending of the The Wild Bunch.

It’s a mesmerizing ballet of political incorrectness. More please.

Being Human: Are You Listening BBC?

Dear Auntie Beeb: commission this as a series NOW!

Being Human is currently airing on BBC3 as a one off drama (and is available for the next four days on iPlayer here) and if the idea of a cleverly written, Brit made, supernatural drama series appeals to you then I urge you to check it out and make sure the BBC know you’ve enjoyed it (either by commenting here, or over on another review I found online).

The premise is neat: Mitchell is a vampire, George is a werewolf. Tired of living the unsettled life so typical of their kind, they decide to buy a house together and try to make a go of settling down. Mitchell suggests he’ll go on the wagon (ie, not drink blood), and George is adamant that he’ll lock himself away every full moon to avoid causing any trouble.

Things take an interesting turn when the couple find their new home comes with a little bit more than just fixtures and fittings, George bumps into an old girlfriend at the hospital that he and Mitchell work in (who thought he was dead), and Mitchell’s vampire buddies put in an appearance (who disapprove of his friendship with George).

The characterisation is a joy, and there’s so much potential with the characters that this pilot introduces. The performances are spot on, particularly George (Russell Tovey) who is totally convincing throughout, whether he’s being brilliantly menacing the night before the full moon, or bursting with excitement at the prospect of getting their own house. It’s also nice to see an old fashioned Werewolf transformation too…none of that CGI nonsense here, thankyouverymuch.

So if you’ve not seen it, go an have a look. It’s probably repeated on BBC3 again anyway, but as mentioned (and linked) above, you’ve got four iPlayer days left.

I just hope my prayers get answered, and the BBC finally realise that UK audiences would lap something like this up. We’ve not had a home-grown vampire series since Ultraviolet.