Movie Review: Wanted

It’s been a while since I wrote one of these reviews - particularly one that I decided to “feature”. It’s also been a while since I watched something at the cinema and immediately decided I needed to see it again. In that sense, it seems fitting that Wanted marks my return.

Have you seen that Michael Bay advert? It’s the one where Bay proclaims that everything should be “Awesome“. That’s kind of how Wanted feels - everything needs to be Awesome. Yes, with a capital A.

There are huge parallels with the first Matrix movie here - just the first one, before they fell in love with their own mythology and the trilogy essentially disappeared up its own arse - in that it takes a very normal, insignificant guy, who works in a Dilbert-esque cubicle, and turns him into a superhero.

The difference here is, we care about that guy. OK, Neo was cool, but we didn’t spend enough time with him to really care. Wanted’s resident nobody Wesley Gibson basically has no life. His job sucks, his girlfriend and best mate both think he’s a joke, he’s broke, he lives in a shitty little apartment, and wonders why he bothers to get out of bed in the morning. Did Neo feel like this? No idea, we weren’t given time to find out.

And the fact that we get to see so much of Wesley’s life before his transformation, means that when he takes his life back - or perhaps more accurately gets a life - we’re cheering him along. There’s a moment with a Microsoft Natural Keyboard that I’m sure will put a large smile on the face of many a frustrated computer user. I’ve owned one of those things…they could do some damage.

And thanks to director Timur Bekmambetov - best known for Night Watch and Day Watch - when Wesley does turn into a superhero it feels, like I mentioned before, Awesome. Wesley is recruited into The Fraternity - a 1000 year old club of elite assassins, led by God himself Morgan Freeman. After which much plot twistyness ensues.

We don’t have to wait for the Awesomeness though; it begins early on with an introductory sequence featuring Doomsday’s stern-faced David O’Hara - is it just me, or does it seem like a real effort for that guy to talk? - which sets the tone for the rest of the film really.

Dario Argento Season

I’m currently enjoying my own personal Dario Argento season.

So far I’ve watched Suspiria, Inferno, and Mother of Tears. I’ll post my thoughts on these individually when I get a minute.

Tonight’s viewing is Tenebrae, followed tomorrow by The Card Player, then Opera on Wednesday. Finally, on Thursday, I’ll finish with Two Evil Eyes (which comes with a side order of Romero).

I’ll be sure to devote a few paragraphs to each one, as befits the new Is There Food.

Conjunctivitis, Cloverfield, and Comfortable Shoes

By way of an update, in reverse chronological order, here’s what’s going on:

I have conjunctivitis in my left eye, which has caused it to swell up, and will only open half way. This is annoying. I’ve got drops that have to live in the fridge, so at the moment they’re sat next to someone’s home-made salad, or whatever gubbins is in that Tupperware in work’s fridge. Hope my drops don’t get eaten…anything goes in this place…

I saw Cloverfield at the weekend, and very much enjoyed it. It’s basically Godzilla, or King Kong, shot through a digital camera by a bunch of attractive-looking youths. There are parallels with Romero’s Diary of the Dead (which should get a theatrical release soon) but Cloverfield isn’t as determined to get its message across. If it even has a message. It’s more of a clever piece of viral marketing, with an end product that actually delivers for a change. I’m a sucker for half decent giant monster movies, and this certainly fits that category.

Oh, and it gave me motion sickness for the first time in my life. Seriously, I thought I was going to throw up or leave the cinema. That’s never happened before. Unless you count the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake…but that was for different reasons.

It’s also very pleasing to see all the speculation on various Internet blogs and forums, regarding things that didn’t happen in the film. The origins of the creature, what the meaning of various clues are, and what path a potential sequel could take are all being debated on a number of sites. This makes me happy: anything that fires up people’s imaginations after they’ve left the cinema is a good thing, if you ask me. And you didn’t, but you’re reading my blog, so that’s close enough.

I took a week off from training last week. I walked to work on Monday and Tuesday, and managed to hurt my heel/ankle, pansy that I am. On Wednesday it was particularly excruciating, and so on Thursday I decided a visit to the local quack doctor was in order.

He basically told me that a) the problem would be very persistent, b) the problem would be extremely painful, and c) I’d not be able to run the race in May.

Diary Of The Dead: First Impressions

I’d planned to do a bit of a write-up on this, or as much as my phone will allow, after seeing it. But now I HAVE seen it, I can’t bring myself to say too much.

First: I want to see it again. Partly because I missed the celebrity voice cameos, but mostly because it’s good. Very good. Romero is back on form, having made not only a great zombie movie, but a great horror movie full stop.

I’ll write more later. If I don’t, bug me in the comments until I do. I need to do Diary justice, and I can’t do that on this phone’s keyboard. Well, not if I want to retain my sanity.

Planet Terror next. And I’m about to crack the first Red Bull of the evening. Might have some chocolate too. How indulgent.

Off To See Romero

This is something I never thought I’d get to do! I managed to get tickets to Frightfest’s All Nighter, to be held at the ICA in London in early November.

It all kicks off at 9pm with a showing of Diary of the Dead, introduced by the only and only George Romero himself. One of my personal heroes!

After the showing, George will be doing a Q&A. And after that there are showings of:

• Planet Terror - half of the ill-fated Grindhouse project, and something I’m looking forward to seeing on the big screen.
• Savage Streets - which will probably be crap, so I might nod off during this one.
• Frontiers  - looking forward to this one.
• Inside - sounds intriguing, but I think this starts at about 5am, so God knows what state I’ll be in.

Should be a great night’s viewing! Assuming I can stay awake. I’ve booked the day off work, and will attempt to not get up until 1pm or so. That way I should just about make it.

I’m going to try to LiveBlog from the screenings too.

Movie Review: Yet Another 300 Review

aka I Didn’t Like 300!

Yes, I know world + dog has now reviewed this, but I don’t care

Let me shout this from the very top of the review, as the doomed king Leonidas and his Spartans are so fond of doing: I DIDN’T ENJOY 300!

There, I’ve said it. I can hide my controversial opinion no longer. An army of fans - enough to put the fear of God in old Xerxes himself - is no doubt marching this way even as I write this. My review comes a little late to the party thanks to my location (why does the UK get everything last?), and it’s easy to attack something that’s met with success in order to court controversy, or do something different; but I can’t help the fact that, for me, a large part of Zack Snyder’s creation doesn’t make for very entertaining cinema.

For the record: I’m a fan of the original graphic novel, and a fan of Frank Miller in general. I’m also a fan of Zack Snyder, given that he took on a terribly unpopular idea - remaking Dawn of the Dead - and produced a damn fine movie as a result. There are moments in Snyder’s zombie apocalypse that throb with a visceral ferocity, and I had high hopes for 300. But that’s always my curse: high hopes = low opinion.

A note to the reader: at this point things get a bit spoilery. I’m assuming that, by now, pretty much everyone’s seen 300. If you’ve not, I’d recommend stopping at this point and coming back when you’ve been to your local multiplex and made your own mind up. And with that out of the way…

There are so many things wrong with 300; so many irritating elements that detract from what could have been a glorious whole. The ferocity that existed within Dawn is, despite all the violence, missing from 300. Limbs are severed, blood is spilled, and many a beefcake is pierced by a Persian arrow. The problem is: none of it seems real, none of it makes an impact. It’s the overuse of CGI that’s largely to blame: you can’t make computer generated blood look the same way as real blood, it doesn’t stain the clothes and skin, it doesn’t splatter, it just sprays unenthusiastically, unsubstantially. It’s the same with severed limbs; prosthetics give a real sense of ouch when blade meets flesh, but the lightweight CGI limb removal in 300 just doesn’t hurt.