Frightfest 08: Jack Brooks Monster Slayer

The Frightfest coverage continues!

The last film of Sunday night, but the next film I’ll mention here, was one that I’d been looking forward to since I saw the trailer. 

It could all have gone horribly wrong. Pulling of this sort of tongue in cheek comedy horror isn’t easy, and the results can be absolutely excruciating when it doesn’t work. The trailer shows that the film doesn’t look cheap, and does a great job of getting across exactly what Jack Brooks is trying to deliver: fun. 

And for the most part, it really does deliver. The monster make-up is great across the board, Robert Englund is having serious amounts of fun, the giant rubber demon he eventually becomes manages to nail the Brain Dead style perfectly, and - perhaps most importantly - the film is genuinely funny at times. Largely thanks to “Howard”, but we’ll come back to him.

The titular character is a down on his luck plumber with serious anger management problems. His girlfriend is intensely irritating, he’s haunted by the memory of his family being slain by some sort of forest troll while he was a little boy, and cannot escape the guilt induced by running away while said troll had his family for dinner. The fact that they were slaughtered to the sound of Bobby Darrin’s Beyond The Sea probably has some bearing on Jack’s mental state too.

When his girlfriend suggests that Jack start going to night-classes, he agrees, and it’s here that we meet Englund’s Professor Crowley. It’s nice to see him in a role that he can really get his teeth into for a change, and while he’s playing for laughs throughout he does a superb job. When Crowley invites Jack back to his house to fix his plumbing, Jack’s handiwork manages to unearth the black heart of a demon, who’s hellbent on returning to Earth and turning its people into bloodthirsty creatures.

It doesn’t take a genius to work out what happens next.

The film’s only real problem is that it takes a little while to really get into gear. In many ways it’s an origin tale in the tradition of recent superhero movies - Jack doesn’t start the film as the titular Monster Slayer (unless you count the opening sequence flash-forward) and it isn’t really until the final stages of the film that he realises he destiny. What we get along the way are some funny interactions between Jack and his anger management councillor, and Crowley’s transformation which, thanks to Englund, is even funnier. 

Frightfest 08: The Broken

I’m leaping perilously out of chronological order here, because I want to get the reviews of the films that I didn’t enjoy out of the way first. Which is a bit foolish, because it’s often easier to find something to say about something you didn’t like than something you did. And I didn’t like The Broken.

The title most obviously refers to the numerous broken mirrors in the film, but it could just as easily allude to a number of other things, such as the main character’s car, or her lost memory. The film’s plot involves strange pod-person-esque doppelgangers - maybe The Broken of the title? - entering our world through mirrors and immediately setting out on a mission to kill their double. Once done they take their place in the world and act like unemotional automatons. Quite why they do this is never explained, but the film vaguely hints that this phenomenon is more widespread than just the characters under scrutiny here, and that the mirror people assist each other in carrying out their mission.

There’s a suggestion that the reason for the appearance of these creatures is because a mirror has been broken. So “deary me Jimbo, now you’ve broken that mirror you’ll have 7 years’ bad luck” becomes “curses Jimbo, after carelessly breaking that mirror, you’ll now be hunted down and killed by your double, who’ll then live your life for you, but take absolutely no pleasure in doing so”.

Lena Headey plays central character Gina. While enjoying a surprise birthday party for their father, Gina and family witness the dramatic shattering of a large mirror (see previous paragraph for why this is significant). Soon after we’re shown Gina’s bathroom mirror shatter, and high heels walking purposefully out of the bathroom. Gina then sees herself driving her car home, has a confrontation with the driver, manages to drive head first into a taxi while driving the car she previously saw someone who looked just like her driving, and wakes up in hospital with a nasty case of amnesia. Are you following this?

The film then takes what feels like three years focusing on Gina’s steady realisation that the mirror people are replacing her family members, starting with her boyfriend. But of course nobody believes her, least of all her mysteriously accented psychologist (Ulrich Thomsen), who just seems to blink out of existence during the film’s later stages. They all think her suspicions are simply caused by the trauma of the accident. That, and the fact that her boyfriend is a terrible actor, and nobody notices he’s been replaced, other than him suddenly taking a dislike to his own dog and frowning a lot.

Frightfest 08: From Within

This year’s Frightfest experience started with 3:10 to Yuma cinematographer Phedon Papamichael’s supernatural thriller. On a day that promised Swedish Vampires (Let The Right One In) and a film touted as “the most extreme film ever” (Martyrs), I had relatively low expectations for From Within.

Elizabeth Rice plays Lindsay, a teenager in a small religious town, with an alcoholic mother, and a bible bashing boyfriend. During the film’s first few moments, Lindsay is exposed to the suicide of a local goth girl, who in turn has just been covered in her boyfriend’s brain matter after shooting himself in the opening scene. It soon becomes apparent to the audience - albeit not the characters - that something is travelling from the last suicide victim’s body to whoever discovers it, causing them to be stalked by, and ultimately forced to take their own lives at the hand of a zombified mirror image of themselves.

The film soon reveals that suicide number one was the son of a local witch. A witch who just happens to have been burned alive by the town’s people after having a hand in the drowning of a popular member of the community. The town folk decide that it’s the witch’s remaining son, played by Sarah Connor Chronicle’s Thomas Dekker, who must be the cause of all the suicides. Queue predictable building of the town folk’s aggression, culminating in them all but taking up pitch forks and flaming torches, and invading Dekker’s home in the film’s final stages.

It’s the same kind of religious insanity which was so brilliantly expressed in Frank Darabont’s adaptation of The Mist, but in this film it feels unoriginal and uninvolving. I didn’t feel enough of an attachment to the protagonists to really care that they were about to be set upon by psychotic Christians.

If you’re a young teen looking for a slice of acceptable, light weight, inoffensive horror then this is probably for you. There’s very little real gore, and plenty of teen angst. Dekker is in full on emo mode, grunting his way though the film in a manner more annoying than anything I’ve seen him in before. He’s a crap John Connor, and he’s an even worse emo son of a witch.

Frightfest Posts Coming Soon

I was at this year’s Frighfest in London yesterday. T’was indeed an awesome day of horror.

I’m going to post reviews of the 6 films over the next few days, but for now here’s a summary of my Twittering throughout the day:

• “Frightfest Sunday begins. Think From Within might be today’s turkey, but keeping an open mind.”
• “Unimpressed by Frightfest’s first offering of the day. Heavy handed, predictable, and lacking suspense. What say you, other Frightfesters?”
• “Let The Right One In: Morrissey would be proud. Beautiful, moving Swedish vampire awesomeness. Want to see it again. Will settle on the book”
• “Broken: Lena is pretty, but cannot save such a boring, boring film. Seems the #frightfest back channel agree!”
• “Autopsy: fun gore-fest with some gloriously colourful lighting and imaginative gore. Nothing too deep, but sometimes that’s what you want.”
• “And next is Martyrs. Which is all about teddy bears, chocolate biscuits and marshmellows. Or something.”
• “Martyrs: cannot do this justice in 140 characters. Quite special I think. Deeper exploration on blog later. Challenging film though.”
• “Jack Brooks: good stuff. Think Brain Dead, Bad Taste, Evil Dead. Decent effects, good laughs (Howard) and the perfect end to my FF trip!”

Review: Donkey Punch

It is, quite simply, the most distasteful, depraved and nihilistic film I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. I freely confess that there were times I felt physically ill simply watching it. Certainly, I would have walked out long before the end had I not had to write about it.

Donkey Punch is the vilest film Ive ever seen, says AMANDA PLATELL | Mail Online.

If that’s not enough to harden the resolve of any horror fan to see a film, I don’t know what will. The Mail’s spectacularly point-missing review is an entertaining read for all the wrong reasons, so I thought I’d chime in with my thoughts.

The aforementioned Amanda Platell claims the film falls firmly into the “torture porn” category, and manages to cram in a mention of real life knife crime to prove her point. Apparently Donkey Punch:

has no redeeming features whatsoever. There is not a single shred of humanity, imagination or creativity detectable anywhere among its 99 long minutes.

And I’ll admit, it’s not the most original film in the world. It is, essentially, Dead Calm with a higher body count, and without Nicole Kidman or Billy Zane. But it’s a well shot, well acted Brit thriller and actually attempts to serve as something of a morality tale for today’s youth.

The story revolves around three girls from Leeds (one of which is played by the daughter of Beowulf himself, Ray Winstone) who, while on holiday in Majorca, hook up with the crew of a luxury yacht; a group of (mostly) posh British lads with sex and drugs on their minds.

The first third of the film plays out like a music video (which is perhaps unsurprising given director Olly Blackburn’s previous career), as the girls dance around, drink, and take drugs to the tune of various dance tracks.

When the yacht heads out to see, the crew decide to go swimming. Oddly, the girls all seem to have their swimwear, despite only nipping out for a night of clubbing.

After their dip, a brief discussion of various sex acts (one of which being the titular Donkey Punch) ensues, and things inevitably turn fruity as two of the girls head off down to the yacht’s master bedroom with three of the boys. During said fruitiness, one of the boys administers said violent sexual act with undesirably fatal effect.

Dario Argento Season

I’m currently enjoying my own personal Dario Argento season.

So far I’ve watched Suspiria, Inferno, and Mother of Tears. I’ll post my thoughts on these individually when I get a minute.

Tonight’s viewing is Tenebrae, followed tomorrow by The Card Player, then Opera on Wednesday. Finally, on Thursday, I’ll finish with Two Evil Eyes (which comes with a side order of Romero).

I’ll be sure to devote a few paragraphs to each one, as befits the new Is There Food.